37 days until we get to meet our little bundle of joy: a true gift from God. Baby Girl Newton, you’re such a blessing to Daddy and I, and we love you so much already. I’m writing a letter to you everyday until you make your grand entrance. Letter #4:
Dear Baby Girl,
I am actually writing this letter 1 day late. Yesterday, I had a busy day and wasn’t at home as much as I normally am. I had to pick out some special outfits for me and your Daddy at the mall because we were planning on having our pictures taken today. But by the time I got home from the mall, I was really tired and worn out. I only had just enough energy to clean up the kitchen, cook dinner, and then clean up again. In addition to feeling tired, I was also cranky. I’m not cranky very often, and when I am, there is a good reason. Well, I started to feel sick after dinner. I felt light-headed and just “run down” in general. That’s not a normal feeling for me. Later, when I washed my face and neck, I could feel that my lymph nodes were tender and swollen. That definitely told me I was getting sick.
Despite feeling yucky, I made a special trip out to my best friend Heather’s house. She and I, and her oldest daughter Taylor, hung out for a little bit watching a TV show called “What would you do?” I’d never seen it before and it was interesting. Afterward, Heather gave me a haircut and we talked about what giving birth is like. She is a good person to talk to about this since she has 5 children!
To be honest, I am a little scared to give birth to you. Which is really dumb, I know. I’m sure I’ll read this letter years from now and just laugh at that! Of course giving birth is going to be painful, that’s a given fact. But I’ve never been the kind of girl who is afraid of a little pain. I can give blood and have blood drawn from me without hyperventilating; in fact, I think it’s pretty cool to watch the wonders of medical science and how God works through doctors and nurses all the time. And the pain I endured while racing mountain bikes for years, which has to stand for something, right? Sure, it was painful while I was climbing up a huge mountain, pushing myself to the limit and riding through the pain, but I was able to endure it because I knew that when I finished, I’d be standing on a podium with a medal in my hand (most of the time).
Now, a medal for winning a bike race is nothing compared to what I will get to hold in my arms for a lifetime after giving birth – YOU!! So I really ought not to worry about the pain of childbirth at all. I am so excited to meet you (and so is Daddy) and if it means I have to endure some pain in the process, then so be it. When they place you in my arms for the first time and I look at you and speak to you, and you recognize my voice and look back into my eyes, I’m sure that all the pain I just endured will seem like nothing at all. I imagine that I will probably be crying at that point…crying happy tears for the gift of a baby girl, for the gift of you!
I Love You,
Your Mommy
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